


The 'You' That You Are

by risingfire17



Category: I'm The Grim Reaper
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Best Friends, F/M, Feels, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Friendship/Love, Gen, Grim Reapers, Hell, Justice, OTP Feels, Reluctant friends, Slow Burn, Tsunderes, Workplace Relationship, mentioned satan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:47:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24870286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/risingfire17/pseuds/risingfire17
Summary: She's a criminal. She's the filth of the world. She's damned. And she's a tool to get Chase back on the police force. That's all she is, right?
Relationships: Scarlet/Chase
Comments: 14
Kudos: 72





	The 'You' That You Are

**Author's Note:**

> Proudly claiming my spot as first author of "I'm The Grim Reaper" fanfic on this site! Hopefully the tag wranglers get the fandom added soon!
> 
> Original work: "I'm The Grim Reaper" web comic by Graveweaver, available on Webtoon

It wasn’t often that Chase was wrong. He did his research thoroughly before he made the decision to visit their targets. Almost always, his abnormally keen intuition confirmed his suspicions as soon as he met them. It was something he’d always prided himself on: he could tell who told the truth and who lied, who was innocent and who was guilty, just by talking to them. But even Chase couldn’t be correct 100% of the time, and when he wasn’t…

…it was Scarlet who suffered. Of course it was. She was the one who killed them, after all. She was the one who heard their sins and watched them meet their fates in Hell. She’d described the process to him in the beginning to satisfy his curiosity, but she rarely gave details of specific targets they eliminated. When she returned from the underworld, she simply told him if they had been right or wrong. At least, that’s all her words said.

People said so much more without their words than they ever said with them. They were open books to people who knew how to read such nonverbal language. That was the reason Chase was hardly ever wrong when it came to judging their targets. It was also the reason he could tell so much more about Scarlet than she’d ever willingly tell him.

Like how when they were right, she would come back with her eyes drooped but her face relaxed. She would tell him the words in an offhanded, almost bored sort of way. She looked like she had come from an exhausting day at work and couldn’t wait to get home and relax. Her walking would be so leisurely; he’d often scold her to hurry up, to which she would give a bored “yeah, yeah.” On a good day, she’d find some way to make fun of him.

When they were wrong, her words were in her same low voice, but just the slightest bit more monotone than usual. Her eyes were open and staring straight forward, like focusing on her goal could block out whatever she’d just witnessed. Her jaw was tense. Her back was straight, and her pace matched his with the rigidity that comes when one forces their body to act in a way they think won’t draw attention. She said nothing, and if he said anything, she’d respond with a grunt or a “hmmm” followed by a yawn, probably thinking he’d believe she’s just too tired to talk.

He knew her sentence to kill one “sinner” per day must take a toll on her. She committed murder with her own hands every day. Each time, she watched the sinner’s life replay to find the cause of the sinner’s mark, before watching them sentenced to an eternity of suffering befitting of their sin. She’d made it clear in the beginning that the system doling out the sinner’s marks didn’t take the sinner’s circumstances into the equation, and that she’d unwittingly punished simple employee theft and the like with murder. She’d been pretty hung up on the sinner’s circumstances in the beginning, and though she kept quiet these days, he knew she still was. He’d stopped concerning himself with criminals’ excuses a long time ago. All such leniency did was cause more victims. And drive cops insane. This girl acted tough, but she was soft enough to let that kind of stuff tear her up. Why had she taken a job she was so clearly not cut-out for?

To escape her own punishment. Because she was a sinner herself. She had done something in her past life terrible enough to designate her to the ninth circle of Hell. She had no memory of her past life or her sins, so she was able to adopt a new persona, one so innocent-natured it fooled even Chase on occasion. He had to constantly remind himself that she was no different from the worst of criminals he punished. It was only right that she repay her debt to the world by cleaning some of its mess before she herself was punished. 

Chase had tried not to ask too many questions or become too involved with Scarlet’s affairs. It wasn’t his business, after all. His business was solving enough “unsolvable” cases to be reinstated as an inspector. It was mere coincidence that his goal aligned with Scarlet’s daily quota. It was the perfect arrangement, in fact, because with her help, he didn’t need to wait until he was reinstated to rid the world of filth.

But still, it would be easier to get along with her while they were working together, right? Especially since they lived together. Another coincidence. She had nowhere else to go, and keeping her under his watch assured that she didn’t act on her own and make messes of his cases. Besides, living with her wasn’t exactly terrible. The Fatecraft conversations in particular were fun. It was amazing to see how passionate the stoic grim reaper could get over a game. She constantly ranted about someone in-game called Ashenfall, but Chase could see them being good friends if they just talked (and maybe if he stopped killing her so much.) Her horns and tail were kind of cool too. They made her look like a little cat. She was certainly aloof like one. Until she made some klutzy comment. Then she’d apologize with such a sincere blush that he couldn’t stay mad at her. She didn’t exactly have a vast memory of normal human interaction to draw on, anyway.

He couldn’t help but wonder what would become of her when he became an investigator again. She couldn’t keep working cases with him, since he’d be held to strict regulations and under tighter supervision. The only shame in becoming a proper investigator again was that most of the criminals he caught would be spared the elimination they deserved. But as long as they were confined where they couldn’t create any more victims, Chase would just need to content himself with that. Besides, Scarlet would keep cleaning up the filth. She had to. Right?

Would she be able to do it alone? Would she find someone else to help her? Would she have a safe place to go? Would she be okay when she was “wrong” about her targets? Would she find someone who could ease that pain for her? Would she keep playing Fatecraft? Would she still be able to smile the way she did when she won a round? Would she keep that side of her that cares for people way more than she’ll ever let on?

These were dangerous questions to ask about a criminal convicted by the Devil himself. He tried to keep them out of his head, but they periodically found their way back in…

…until the day the letter came.

* * *

“Huh?” Scarlet’s voice had pulled Chase out of his thoughts, but he couldn’t quite make out what she was saying over the sounds of crashing waves and seagulls’ cries. “S-sorry.”

“I asked what you wanted to talk about?”

“What makes you think I want to talk about something?”

“I don’t think you’d bring me here unless you wanted to talk. Particularly about something you can’t risk being overheard.” Fair assumption, considering the last time they’d been here was when they told each other their secrets. How she had died and become a grim reaper. How he had been kicked off the police force for killing a detainee during interrogation. It was the day they made the deal that led to their current arrangement. It seemed like an appropriate place to have this conversation. Besides, the relaxing scenery made it easier for Chase to say what he needed to. Or maybe just easier to avoid it, as he had been doing the entire time he’d been walking along this beach with her. Maybe he’d wanted to cling to this moment, this tiny fragment of normalcy with this girl. But neither of them were normal. The moment was up.

“Fine. You got me,” Chase admitted with a twinge of embarrassment. He looked forward, away from Scarlet’s big, innocent eyes, and started.

“I…got a letter from the police chief yesterday. They’re offering to reinstate me.”

Silence hung over them. It was the first time he’d said the words aloud, and they sounded…off. Like they reflected a life sentence rather than his life’s dream. Scarlet, to an outsider, would have appeared to make no reaction, but Chase knew her better than that. He could tell that her entire body had become tense. She was working to control her reaction, and that was more telling than a natural reaction. All the questions he had asked himself about this moment, she had asked herself too. She was asking them now.

That moment was but a flicker of time before she turned to him with a soft smile and softer eyes. “Congratulations, Chase! You finally achieved your dream! You can walk in the light now! I think you’ll make a great detective.”

“Um, thanks, but-”

“Hmm…I guess we won’t be able to work together anymore if you’re on the force.” Her voice sounded like her typical bored drawl, but she was talking way too fast, like she was trying to escape this moment. “But now I’ve got the hang of this job, I’ll be fine on my own. I should also probably move out of your apartment, just to be safe. I’ve been looking into some options, and I heard about some places in the city that operate under the table and don’t ask a lot of questions…hmmm, though maybe I shouldn’t tell you this now that you’re a cop, eh heh heh heh! Oh and-”

“Scarlet.”

“Wait. Let me just say…it was nice working with you, Chase.” She held out her hand for him to shake. The last time they had shaken hands had been in this place. He had offered her his hand to cement the deal they had made. Now she was offering hers to dissolve it.

“Scarlet.”

“Um, yes?” She looked up at him questioningly, her hand still outstretched.

“I…plan to turn them down.”

Silence hung over them for a minute as Scarlet stared at him, searching him for answers, her hand falling slowly to her side. Finally, she narrowed her eyes and asked him why the hell he’d throw away his dream like that.

“My dream was to rid the world of evil. But I found out the hard way that I can’t do that as a cop. The criminal justice system likes to think it’s so damn ‘humane’ that it can’t simply kill evildoers like animals. So instead the victims’ taxes pay to keep them fed, clothed, and cared for in prison, where they never have to work or contribute to society ever again! And that’s if we’re lucky. I’ve seen murderers walk free, even when we all knew they did it, because we just didn’t have ‘the right evidence,’ or ‘the evidence was obtained in unsanctioned ways,’ or some other technical legal bullshit! Then more victims get hurt!” Chase realized he’d clenched his fists and begun to pant ferociously. Scarlet had stepped back from him and was staring at him wide-eyed. He shrunk back and muttered an apology.

“So, if you don’t want to go back, what are you going to do?”

“Why do I have to do anything?” He chuckled. These words felt right. They felt freeing.

“I don’t understand.”

“I’m saying, I realized that I’ve already been living my dream. I’m helping rid the world of one piece of trash every day. No ‘mercy.’ No wasted tax dollars. And no more victims.’ The world is a safer place every day because of us. And I don’t want to give that up.” He held out his hand. “So, Scarlet, will you continue to accept me as your partner?”

She didn’t take his hand. “No. I think you should go back to the police force.” She walked on, leaving him standing still in shock.

“Wait!” He ran after her and fell into step with her as she did not slow down. “Why?”

“Think about it logically, Chase. What we’re doing, things could go wrong. I can’t be killed, but you can.”

“What? And I can’t be killed hunting murderers with the police?”

“Not as easily as you can hunting them with me. Besides, one day I could fail. Then I’ll disappear to Hell. And where will that leave you? What would you do then?”

“Well, I’ll just have to make sure you don’t fail! I’ll take your scythe and gut them myself if I have to!”

“That’s not how it works, Chase. You know that.”

“Look, these are all risks we’ve been taking this whole time anyway, and you’ve been fine with it!” He grabbed her shoulders and turned her to face him. She turned her head away from him and looked down, biting her lip, but she made no attempt to escape his grip. If he was going to get through to her, it had to be now.

He brushed some hair out of her face so he could see her eyes. “Scarlet,” he said in a much gentler voice. “Why don’t you tell me what you’re really afraid of?”

“I’m not afraid.”

“That’s not what it looks like to me.”

“Well you’re wrong, okay? Fear is something you feel when you don’t know how things will happen. When you know how they’ll happen, it’s…something else. But not fear.” Chase thought for a moment. What she was referring to was probably closer to “dread” then. But just what was she dreading?

“What’s going to happen?” When she bit her lip tighter, he pulled her close enough so she could no longer avert her eyes. “Scarlet, I need to know. Please?”

Finally, she sighed and faced him, her eyes steeled. “I’m one of them, Chase. An unforgiveable sinner. I don’t know what I did, but I’ve seen serial killers and child molesters…no one has gotten sentenced to the ninth circle of Hell. Whatever I did impressed the Devil himself. I’m…part of the filth that needs to be eliminated from your world.”

“Scarlet, that’s not-”

“It _is_ true, Chase. I just want to know why. And when I learn, I’m sure that will change how I think about things. And…I know it will change how you think.” She broke out of his grip and turned away. “Don’t waste the opportunity you have betting on me.” She tried once again to walk away. And once again, Chase went after her.

“Don’t you think I’ve thought about that already?” When her steps became slower and more hesitant, he continued. “Look, I’m going to give you some advice, and you can do what you want with it, but please at least consider it before you throw it out, okay?”

She stopped. “What is it?”

“I…think you should stop trying to find out what happened in the past.” She immediately opened her mouth, caught whatever words she was going to say, and closed her mouth again. Chase took this as a good sign; she was at least considering what she had just said.

Finally, she spoke. “You want me to give up understanding who I am?” She looked up at him, for once not guarding her expressions, but letting her vulnerability show on her face. Chase resisted the urge to wrap her protectively in his arms.

“That person is dead, Scarlet. The ‘filth’ you talk about is gone. That’s not you. You want to understand who you are? Let me tell you.”

“Your name is Scarlet. You are really passionate about Fatecraft. Like, _really_ passionate. It’s kind of adorable. Although sometimes I fear for my keyboard. Your social skills…could use a bit of work. You say some really awkward stuff sometimes. But when you apologize, I can tell on your face you mean it and want to make it right. You’ll run around an amusement park with cotton candy and a grin so big, I can’t help but smile too. You’re really quiet at first, but when someone gets you talking about something you like, you won’t stop! You know, you’re actually a really social girl who wants to make friends, but you hold yourself back because of your situation.”

“Look, I’m sorry. I knew you were suffering, but I never said anything. I was…scared of you. For all the same reasons you’re scared of yourself. And it took me this long to realize I wasn’t really afraid of you. I was afraid of someone who no longer exists. I was afraid that one day, that person would come back and take away my best friend! I thought if I didn’t get close to you, then I’d be fine when that happened. So I let you suffer alone. And I’m so, so sorry.”

“I…don’t…” Her voice was shaky, and she cut herself off. Her ruby eyes were starting to fill with tears. She tried to avert her eyes, but Chase reached out and guided her face back into alignment with his.

“You have a tough job. You see a lot of shit…the filth of the world, and…people treated as such who may not deserve it. You bear the weight of it all. It hurts you. You act like it doesn’t, but it does. And I let you get away with hiding it. But even while I ignored you, you kept protecting me. I mean, you took a bullet for me! I mean, sure, you come back, but it still hurts, doesn’t it? And you let your guard down while your body’s fixing itself! You came back for me when I was kidnapped, even with that other reaper there. You could have left, and you would have been fine. You pummel anyone who you even think is going to hurt me. You’re always by my side, making sure I’m safe!”

“No, don’t get this wrong! You’re…just a tool…to get my sinners….”

“Maybe that’s how it started out. But if that were still the case, then why are you crying?” She didn’t answer, just hung her head so he couldn’t see the tears now falling. But the shaking shoulders gave her away.

“If I were just a tool to you, why would you be concerned about me ‘throwing away my dream?’ Wouldn’t that be good news for you?” She still didn’t answer, and Chase knew he was right. He knew now why she was perfect for her job. The world needed a reaper who understood the value of human life the way she did. Who could seek to preserve it even as her job demanded that she end it. The world needed a reaper as kind as Scarlet.

“You’ve been protecting me all this time, so let me protect you sometimes too, huh? We’re a team, after all. We’re ridding this world of filth. Together. It’s not always easy, but there’s nothing I’d rather be doing, and no one I’d rather be doing it with than you. I mean it.” He tentatively brushed her hair out of her face so he could see her eyes.

“The ‘me’ that I am now?” She’d stopped crying and looked up at him with eyes full of both hope and mistrust.

“The ‘you’ that you _are._ Whatever the person you were did before, that has nothing to do with who you are now. Stop punishing yourself for someone you’re not.”

“I…I know I can’t force you to give up searching for your memories. Even if you keep looking, my decision is still the same. Even if you find them…that doesn’t change who you are now. I want to work with _you_ , Scarlet.”

She stared into his eyes, and he stared into hers. In them he could see her fears and doubts wrestling with all her hopes and dreams. He had said all he could, there was nothing more he could do but wait.

Finally, Scarlet wiped her eyes and held out her hand, expecting a handshake. They had shaken hands here when they made a deal to hunt sinners unpunishable by the system together, and she had tried to shake his hand here again to dissolve their deal. The deal she offered to shake on now looked the same as the original, but it was fundamentally different. This deal was not until something better came along; it was for…well, for the entirety of the foreseeable future. It was based not on convenience, but on trust. And that was so much harder for her, honestly, for him too, and the fact that they could look past the filth of the world they inhabited and find it in themselves to trust each other…Chase was amazed by it all.

He started to shake her hand, and then decided a handshake wasn’t enough for a moment like this. He pulled her into his chest and wrapped his arms tightly around her. Yes, this felt right. He had decided he would rid the world of filth so he could protect the good in it. Why not start by protecting his partner, the one being in this world who had no one else to protect her?

He sighed with the realization that he _absolutely_ would protect her. If she ever failed to meet her quota, he’d probably demand she reap his own marked soul. Or he’d find his own way down to the ninth circle of Hell just to make sure she wasn’t lonely. _God, where did all these bullshit heroics come from?_ Oh hell, they were always there, just buried underneath the police bureaucracy. She'd uncovered them again.

A squirming under his arms pulled him from his thoughts. He loosened his grip, and Scarlet gasped for air. “Oi, I know I can’t die, but being suffocated still fricken HURTS!” She glared at him, but her body had relaxed a bit. Chase smiled.

“All right, all right, I’ll save it for the criminals. Deal?”

“Sure.”


End file.
